Being Humbled… Oh So Humbled…

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A lot of things have changed since the last time I logged into WordPress.  I grew up a little bit, moved to a city where I (once again) didn’t know anyone, started a new job, got an apartment, rented a house, got married… It’s been a crazy couple years.

I think something that I continue to learn over and over again is that I am not nearly as cool as I like to think I am. I am a brushstroke in a painting, an eighth note in a concerto, a pixel in a photo, a “the” in a great speech.  I am not nearly as important as I sometimes mistakenly let myself believe, but I am part of something important.

I am beginning to more consistently recognize the beauty that lies in the fact that I am part of an incredible work of art.  I am not the most significant piece, and the communities that I am a part of and lead collectively only make up a piece of this artistic endeavor.  But, we are part of it.

I forget this sometimes…  But I continue to be reminded of it as I wake up day to day with a woman who’s needs I long to place far above my own, and as I talk with the students I work with and long to celebrate them and help them see larger truths, and as I consistently drop the ball, disappoint people, and fail in my own standards.  I am human, I am flawed, I am imperfect, I am prideful, I am not enough…

And yet, God is.

I am making my way towards humility… I’m not as far along as I should be or would like to be, but I am certain that I am being molded and shaped into a being worth being…

I just wish it wasn’t so uncomfortable…

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